Love Rocks

Wow, it's been a really long time since I've been to this space. I feel sad when I think about how long it's been. I feel neglectful. Not of Samuel, he's always given my attention and care,  but of this space I used to cling to as a life-line. I guess that means I've found a way to exist without it. I could try to put a label on it - good or bad - but, really, I'd rather just let it be what it is. I haven't been here. But I love it here. So I've returned in this moment because it's time.

If I feel like it, I'll tell the story of the past few months. Well, actually, it's a lot more than a few months. It's been more than one season. Odd. Times passes strangely for me. It's not something I can accurately describe. It's like time has lost some of its importance...its meaning...something like that. It just is what it is.

I've come here in this moment because of something called "Love Rocks". I only just learned of it. Last week, I went out to get the mail and found a small little rock with a heart glued to it, sitting atop our mail box bank (our new community has banks of mailboxes instead of individual boxes per home). I picked it up and on the back it simply said "Love Rocks". Eugene is a place of many causes, so I just wrote it off as a nice thing someone had done to bring a bit of cheer to others, and really didn't give it more thought. It's something nice to see every day as I pick up our mail.

(Forgive the nighttime photo, maybe I'll go back tomorrow and get one in the light. Also, it's been raining, so everything's all wet. Hooray for ideal photo opportunities...oh well.)

Tonight, however, as I went out to pick up the mail, I happened to notice something in one of the bushes at the end of our driveway. Another rock, much larger, with blue footprints and the beautiful words "Samuel Evan" adhered to the top.

(Again, nighttime photos. Also, we're in the middle of re-landscaping, so it looks crazy - we just cut off a bunch of dead plants. Sorry neighbors!)

I picked it up to get a better look. On the back was a quote "Do small things with great love" (one of my favorites) and a few websites; Love Drenched on Facebook, and a blog,  Love Drenched Life.

I read the story of two beautiful little girls who were tragically struck and killed by a car in front of their home. In an instant, both these girls were taken from their family (read the full story HERE) and their parents were left behind to grieve.

From what I've read, their mom decided to create "Love Rocks" in their memory, as a legacy of love.

I do not know who left this special gift for us. We really don't know anyone here. I can only guess they saw the stickers on our cars , and took the time to honor his life for us as an anonymous giver.

(Bryan has one on his car too, but I can't find the photo right now, and it's  - have I mentioned this? - dark out right now).

I'm so touched I can't even say. It really means the world to me and I'll cherish it forever.

*Funny side note: I came running in with it after finding it and called to Bryan to come see. "Did you see this?!?" He came and looked at it and replied "Oh, yeah, I saw it a few days ago. I just assumed you put it there as a special thing for Samuel".  AH! Silly husband! If you know him in person, you are probably saying, "Yep, that sounds like Bryan". Men and women are different creatures, that's for sure. But, none the less, I have it now, safe and sound, and going forward he's going to tell me if he finds treasures in our yard :) *

To the person who sent our gift, thank you <3. It means so much when people care enough to do things in his memory.

Tonight I'm holding two sweet girls named Anna and Abigail in my heart, right next to my Samuel <3.

P.S. You're probably saying, "That's so awesome! But, ummm, we're missing a lot of information about the past EIGHT MONTHS!". Yeah, I know. I'll try to do some catching up soon. Short version: Bryan moved to Oregon, I stayed to pack and sell house, took too long to sell so my parents took over for me (thank goodness for them!) and I moved to Oregon to be back with Bryan, moved within Eugene three times, bought a house, began remodeling said house, survived all the stupid holidays, had Samuel's 3rd birthday <3, and I'm about to start a really big new babyloss project with my favorite loss mama, Lisa (with whom I'm attending a beautiful retreat in Arizona next week). All while loving and missing Samuel with all my heart.

So, you know, nothing much going on here... (I'll write more soon).