Twelve Days: The End of 2015

This year has been full of ups and downs. We started the year in a new home, in a new state, in a new place in our lives. We're ending the year in a place of uncertainty, and upheaval, but also with a hope that soon we'll find a place to land.

Christmas at home was a nice as it can be without Samuel - which is to say, not very nice - but it was good to be in a safe place to just be with our emotions. Having his tree up made a difference, and i'm thankful we were able to stay for this time.

Since my last post, we have some news and plans to share.

When Bryan went to the second round of interviews for the Portland job, the HR manager met with him first, to say that the position he was interviewing for had been filled internally, but they wanted to interview him for another position they had open. (Thanks for letting him know before he came prepared for the other one...)  The other position was not quite as good of a fit, so we will not be living in Portland. Or in Oregon, for that matter.

Our next option was to move back to Minnesota to stay with family while looking for jobs in the Midwest. Most of the companies that manufacture the type of products that Bryan knows best are in the Midwest, so from a career standpoint it would be beneficial to be in that part of the country. It would also give us a place to stay for free, so we don't accumulate more debt. Obviously, staying with family is not our idea of being self-sufficient adults, and it can be hard on relationships, so we really didn't want that to be more than a few weeks at most.

But then, a new opportunity came about. An aunt and uncle of mine are traveling for the next two months and need a house-sitter. They heard about our lovely little situation, and offered their home to us. Can you believe how nicely that worked out? They leave for their first stint of their travels on the 12th (the same day we close) and will be back in March. That gives us about two months for Bryan to find a job and for us to find a place to settle back in to life. It's such a relief to have a place to go! They live in the Twin Cities, near our family and friends, and they have a big house with lots of room for us to store our things during our stay.

As my aunt is also my grandmother's primary caregiver, I'll be stepping in during this time to take over. That will help us know if her moving in with us in the coming months will be a good plan, or if it's not going to work. It'll be a trial run, of sorts.

Despite things being so unknown, and up in the air, I don't feel panicked like I have been. I'm really hoping this time will be enough for Bryan to find a great job he loves, and for us to land somewhere we like.

Honestly, I'm very disappointed to leave Oregon. I really love it here and it will be sad to leave. It's such a beautiful place to live, and the people are so laid back. It's been a good experience for us as we rebuild our lives. But there's no way to stay, there's just not enough of the right kind of mechanical engineering jobs for Bryan, so we're moving on, and we can always visit. But I'm going to miss the ocean and the mountains and the farms where I shopped for all the wonderful fruits and veggies we've grown accustomed to this past year.

Unfortunately, I'm leaving behind a very sweet friend who I'll dearly miss. She also lost her first son and we have had many Panera-fests for hours on end talking about our boys, and life with no living children. If I could bring her along, I would. I guess it's one more reason to plan a return trip.

I'm disappointed to leave because we had so many things we planned to explore, and didn't even make a dent in the list.

The "funny" part is that we moved here to escape the terrible winters, and we're moving back in January. Well-played, life. Thankfully, we kept all our layers of outerwear and boots and heavy coats. I have a feeling it's going to be a rude awakening when we step out of our car and our faces freeze instantly. So much for 50 degree winters...

Lastly, I want to say that Bryan and I are completely floored by the outpouring of support we've received since we shared our job/moving/etc news. I wish I had words to say how much it means to know that our friends, family, and even strangers care about us. <3 Thank you!

It's very awkward for me to accept financial help from people, because I always feel there are people who are *MUCH* more in need than we are. But it will make a *huge* difference for us in the coming months, and we are ever so grateful. And, we promised ourselves that once we are settled, and things turn around, we'll be paying it forward in memory of all the sweet babies in heaven we know. 

Truly, we are surrounded by people who care.

So, I guess that's it for now. It's the last day of what turned into a hard year. It feels like it was our Oregon Year. I'm glad we came. We needed it. I'm sad to leave. But just like always, we'll take things as they come, and we'll be fine. Since it's NYE, I'll leave you with this, for Samuel. <3 Always held firmly in our hearts, wherever life takes us.